We had cleaning checks today. According to our checklist-sheet, I had to use newspaper and Windex to clean the mirrors. What on Earth? Wouldn't newspaper get ink smudges all over the mirror? What do you do, put newspaper over the mirror and spray the newspaper, then peel it off and wipe it clean, or do you wipe off the Windex with newspaper? Isn't newspaper stiff enough that it would scratch the mirror? And isn't the ammonia in Windex really bad for the glass? (The answer to that one is yes.)

"How ridiculous," thought I. So you know what I did? I used plain water and a rag. The mirrors are clean now.

I did follow the directions for cleaning the kitchen sink, though. It said I had to use Shower Power to clean it. The kitchen sink isn't really a shower, but I used the stuff anyway. I'm not sure why, though, because judging from the instructions on the back of the bottle, the people who make it, or at least the ones who bottle it, aren't all that smart.

"Cleans and shines without abrasive scouring action. Deodorizes too! Leaving your bathroom smelling minty fresh."

That's such bad English it makes me want to cover my face and scream. The phrase 'abrasive scouring action', to most idiots in the world, sounds like a good thing. 'Don't we want abrasive scouring action?' they probably think. 'Well, it says it cleans and shines, I guess. That's good enough for me.' Next, we have "Deodorizes too!" That isn't a sentence. It's a pathetic add-on, and it sounds cheesy, but not nearly as bad as the next sentence: "Leaving your bathroom smelling minty fresh." That's the part that gets me. That's the worst sentence fragment I've heard in probably six years. Furthermore... "Minty fresh"??? I'm not even going to go into that! I wonder how much people get paid to design these labels, because I'm fairly sure I could do a better job than they. Moving on!

"Directions for use: 1. Point nozzle away from face. 2. Turn nozzle to ON position."

And this, my friends, is a perfect example of a product designed for the common-sense-impaired.

The end.