I fully intend to get a cat as soon as I move in to a house. I told my friend Jean so today, and she informed me that she intended to get a snake as soon as she moved in to a house. I assumed that she wanted a snake merely because she was obsessed with reptiles, but I was sadly mistaken.

"I want a snake so I can cuddle with it, because I don't have any boys to cuddle with!"

That, my friends, is the definition of desperate.